Are you one that struggles with bitterness or anxiety? Do you wish there was a miracle that could just take those feelings away? Unfortunately, there isn’t. Bitterness can tear you apart and even potentially ruin good relationships. I have always known this, yet I still find it a tremendous obstacle to overcome. You may not think that anxiety has anything to do with bitterness, but the point of this post is to show you how they interact with each other and to explain why bitterness is such a difficult thing to talk about. In this series, I will have several blog posts pointing out different aspects of bitterness, forgiveness, and anxiety.
Why is Bitterness so Hard to Overcome?
This is a question that I have been asking for as long as I can remember. I wish I could just pray to the Lord and ask Him to remove the hurt and pain and it would all just magically disappear. Yeah, well that’s not how it works. For me personally, bitterness can be a difficult thing to let go of because I want to protect my feelings and I also don’t want the offender to think their behavior was acceptable. In other words, my pride prohibits me from letting go and I almost feel like I should be able to “punish” their behavior myself. That in and of itself is very difficult to get over. We may feel like the person that has wronged us ought to be punished in the way we see fit. However, the Bible has a different outlook on how revenge should be handled. “Revenge is mine saith the Lord.” Romans 12:19.
Okay, so then what are we supposed to do? Act like their actions are totally fine? What if they still act horribly towards me? Friends, I am personally going through this exact situation right now. It is NOT easy. Far. From. It. But as soon as you realize that their actions are a reflection of THEM and not YOU, you can start to peel away at your bitterness. In fact, forgiveness really isn’t about the other persons actions, but about protecting your heart. I just read a quote that talked about how freeing forgiveness is. Yes, it can certainly be harder to let go of when they keep on acting in a way that is hurtful, but the sooner you let go, the sooner you are prepared to receive God’s tremendous blessings for your life. Wouldn’t it be terrible to miss out on God’s blessings because you wouldn’t forgive someone?
I know that this is much easier said than done, because another reason bitterness can be so hard to overcome is because all of those feelings that you have tried to forget come rushing back up once they do something hurtful again. We are humans with a human nature, so of course we are going to feel hurt when someone does something to us, but we don’t need to let their wrong doing hurt our hearts and relationship with God. Now I’m writing all of this out, but please do not be fooled. I have absolutely not mastered the art of forgiveness and bitterness yet. I am still a gigantic work in progress.
You Want Answers, but aren’t Getting Anywhere.
When someone has wronged me, I want to know why. Why are they treating me this way? What did I ever do to them? Why does it feel like they hate me? I may never get those answers. I may never know why I’ve been treated a certain way. When I’m not able to get those answers, I have a harder time letting go of that bitterness. This doesn’t mean that I’m not able to let go, it just means that this mountain is going to be a little harder to climb. In my experience, I have even reached out, tried to be kind, and even made thoughtful gifts, but nothing seems to get through. That’s difficult to process.
What Does Anxiety have to do with Bitterness?
I was reading a devotional about forgiveness and it talked about how anxiety can play a part in your life if you don’t forgive. I immediately started crying. What if I’m feeling anxious because I have some unresolved bitterness in my heart? I do believe that God loves us and corrects us, so I feel like anxiety can go hand in hand with bitterness because we are commanded not to live in sin. And if we are actively living our lives without forgiveness, how can we experience life without feeling that somethings just not right. We can’t. As Christians, God will chase our hearts until we repent.
That’s all for this first post in my series. I just want to add a small disclaimer in that I have written this post myself, but do enjoy getting inspiration from the Bible, Bible commentaries, devotionals, and author Lysa TerKeurst. Lysa struggles in a lot of the same areas that I do, so I love getting inspiration from her.
I hope this can be inspirational to you in letting go on some bitterness that may be in your own heart. By sharing, I hope to encourage you all to take a look at your heart and see if you are struggling in this area. I would love to chat with you, so if you feel comfortable and would like to reach out for someone to talk to, I am always here.
XOXO, Emily
