Overcoming a Bitter and Anxious Heart Part II

Here I am sitting in my bedroom with my cozy throw pillows and blankets, a lavender vanilla scented candle lit, writing about a topic that is so very important to my heart. In my last post in this series, I broke down a little of what I was going to be talking about. Today, I want to talk a little bit more about bitterness, anxiety, forgiveness, and love. As I began to write this blog post, something popped into my head that I had just heard someone say about themselves. This very thing is true about myself as well, and it is this: I don’t let things go.

I Don’t Let Things Go

Let me rephrase, I’m not good at letting things go. If you know me personally and are in my close circle, you will already know this. This is a flaw of mine that has been pretty difficult to shake. Basically, if you’ve wronged me or someone that I care about in a horrible way, I’m done. I’m not one to readily offer second chances, and that’s sad. As a Christian, I should be one of the first to jump at the chance of giving a second chance to someone, because I know that my Lord keeps on giving them to me. I know I’m not perfect and need grace and love daily, so why do I have a hard time giving that grace to others that have wronged me? This is kind of a difficult answer, but I’m hoping that the honestly and transparency that I’m sharing will help to open up the forgiveness topic a little more. I have a difficult time extending second chances when the same people wrong me over and over and over again.

Before I continue on, I want to clarify that this blog post is not for me to bash those that have hurt me, but to share my forgiveness story and how I am working with the Lord to overcome it. Yes, I do have a hard time letting things go and forgiving quickly when it seems like this behavior keeps happening and it is blatantly obvious. However, I do not control other people’s actions. I am not in their heads, I do not know their motives 100% of the time, and I don’t have to let their actions define my own. I can simply accept it and move on. I don’t mean to accept it as being acceptable or okay by any means, but to accept that this is how they are treating you and to not let it get you down. I’ve talked about this before, but everyone has a reason why they are the way that they are. Every single one of us has a reason for treating people the way we do. Both good or bad, we have a reason. It is our responsibility to lead by example, to show grace, and to be kind whenever possible.

Why is Forgiveness so Hard?

I have been asking this question for a while. Why is it so hard to forgive sometimes? Part of this definitely has to do with pride. How dare they act that way towards me? Who do they think they are? Don’t they know who I am? I’ve had all of those thoughts and several others. In order to truly forgive, we need to take ourselves out of the equation. It isn’t about us. Their behavior is about them and what they feel inside. It still hurts and can be offensive when it comes out, but if someone is willing to make you feel bad over and over, imagine how they must feel on a daily basis. I’ve said this before and it is a pretty well known saying, but hurt people hurt people. That couldn’t be more true.

Bitterness and Anxiety: What to Know

Anxious thoughts, stressful days, overwhelming feelings of feeling like you’ve been wronged and it doesn’t seem to end. I’ve been there. I wish there was a button I could push to make my bitterness, feelings of not wanting to forgive, and anxiety just go away. I truly believe that until we are living at peace with others and aren’t angry, we won’t experience the peace of no racing or anxious thoughts. Forgiveness is a difficult, painful, but glorious journey that can only be accomplished through the help of Jesus. There is no “say a prayer and be done with it.” It takes constant, consistent work to overcome. I’m still working on it too, and I hope that these posts will inspire you to do the same.

What do I do when it Happens Again?

• Pray to the Lord, asking for strength and courage.
• Don’t let Satan get a hold of your heart, because it’s far to easy to let that happen.
• Know that God is giving you this trial because He knows that you can grow from it.
• Don’t dwell on the offense.
• Work on Letting it go.

Thank you all for reading, I hope to have several more posts in this series up soon.

Emily